In a death, unfortunately, there is no next time. Not in this lifetime. You have to live the rest of your life knowing that you will never see that person again. For me-at least for a long time-I was the boy that woke up every Christmas morning, only to find out there was no Christmas. There were no presents and there certainly was no happiness and joy. This would happen for a long time.
For many months, this feeling of emptiness consumed me-consumed my every thought and emotion. Every reminder of the tragedy accentuated my feelings of loneliness and despair. I would get this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Unfortunately, this was just the start of it. Many things transpired after these initial feelings of sadness and despair.
Even though I was going through my own problems and issues at the time, I still put a smile of my face. Smiling does not necessarily mean you’re happy. Sometimes it just means that you’re strong. I was very good at masking my sadness and depression. For the most part, I was very good at hiding my true feelings. When I did hang out with friends and family, I put on an act. I acted happy when I wasn’t. People thought I was happy when I simply felt distressed.
“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it” Charles R. Swindoll